If men are lonely, I'm pretty sure that's mostly on men

There's been an ongoing conversation for a few years now about the "epidemic of male loneliness." In summary: There's research showing that men have more trouble making friends than women and fewer friends than women, especially close ones. Many men today also say they lack a sense of purpose, in a world where women can also be breadwinners. Coupled together, this loneliness and lack of purpose are said to be factors that lead to young men becoming more reactionary—they believe that if society would just retvrn to traditional beliefs about sex and gender, they would be happier.

It's probably true that some of these guys would get laid more if we could magically rewind the social progress of the last 50 years, if only because women do need bank accounts, so some would hold their noses and sleep with a dude if that were what it took. It's probably not true these guys would actually be happier, though, because their loneliness and purposelessness is really a massive personal-growth issue. Which is to say, it's something men have to fix ourselves. When people talk about how American society has failed men—as author Richard Reeves does in this news story from August—the implication is always that feminism is to blame, that since the ’60s and ’70s, schools and the social sciences have focused on diagnosing girls' challenges, and celebrating their achievements, to the detriment of boys. It makes intuitive sense if you don't look at it too closely: There is only so much attention to go around, and when you give too much of it to girls, boys don't get enough.

That may be true, but it doesn't describe reality, which is the first problem. Teachers have always spent more time with boys, it tends to be much easier for a boy to be diagnosed with ADHD or a learning disability, and there is no shortage of boys being celebrated for their achievements at any grade level.

The second problem is that (as we have discussed before) even after decades of feminism, women aren't in charge of this stuff. Men overwhelmingly run all levels of American government, school districts, and universities. (Even only three out of twelve U.S. Secretaries of Education have been women.) Women did not cause the epidemic of male loneliness (to the extent it even actually exists—everyone is lonely) and have neither the power nor the responsibility to fix it.

Good to Know

You have surely already heard that Donald Trump made "unusual and vulgar remarks" about late golf legend Arnold Palmer's huge dong at a rally in Pennsylvania this weekend. In and of itself, I wouldn't think this was a huge deal. I don't care if a presidential candidate talks about dongs on the campaign trail. I can easily imagine it being funny, entertaining, or informative. The dong story should be low on the long list of reasons to vote for Kamala Harris instead of Trump—but it is worth mentioning that loss of inhibition can be a symptom of dementia.

Trump also did a thing on Sunday in Pennsylvania where he pretended to work for McDonald's, because he thinks Harris lied about having a summer job there 40 years ago. The McDonald's was closed, and the customers were supporters who'd been selected beforehand, and Trump didn't take orders from them, just handed out food at random. He ignored questions about raising the minimum wage if he were elected, too.

Trump's proposed policies could drain Social Security within six years, according to research from the Committee for a Responsible Federal Budget, hardly a socialist organization. If you know someone who is thinking about voting for him but wants Social Security to be there in six years, maybe forward that gift link to them.

Oh, and you might have heard about Elon Musk offering $1 million prizes for voting. It's a weird, stupid deal: Musk took over Trump's get-out-the-vote efforts a few weeks ago. As part of those efforts, he is asking registered voters in swing states like Pennsylvania and Wisconsin to sign a petition promising to vote in support of First and Second Amendment rights. If you sign the petition, you supposedly get $100 (it was $47 at first), and you get $100 for every other registered voter you get to sign it as well. The latest detail is that Musk has also recently promised to award $1 million each day to a random registered voter who has signed the petition.

If this sounds complicated and, as I said, stupid, that's because it is. Musk presumably originally wanted to just flat-out pay people to vote for Trump, but it is highly illegal to pay people to vote. Like, illegal enough that even he didn't want to do it. So he seems to have settled on paying people to sign a petition, possibly thinking that a bunch of unregistered, low-propensity voters would register just for the chance to get free money. That could also be illegal, and seems like an idea from a guy who has no experience getting people to sign up for things. It's hard, especially with this many steps involved. If you desperately need $100, you probably don't have time to register to vote and then sign a petition and then wait for a payout. And if you don't need $100, do you really feel like doing all that? Particularly if there's no guarantee Musk will even give you the money? (So far, I can't find reports of anyone getting their $100. He has awarded at least two $1 million prizes, although I'm skeptical that the recipients will really get the money, or won't turn out to have been pre-selected.) Keep in mind too that you are free to sign the petition and then vote for Harris. And even if the point is just to get likely potential first-time Trump voters registered—well, voter registration ends today in swing states like Pennsylvania and Arizona. So if you heard anything about this and were concerned there was some eight-dimensional chess going on, I think you can rest easy. I'm pretty sure this is just a mentally unwell billionaire getting out ahead of his skis yet again.

If you pay attention to the polls, there are reports that Harris is behind. But there are also good polls that say she's ahead. In other words, nothing has changed and the race remains tight. There's not much more polls can tell us about the 2024 presidential election, because it will likely come down to just thousands of voters scattered all over the country. Even 20 years ago, it would have been hard for polling to measure the effects of such a small group of people, and now that landlines have died out (not that anyone answers calls from unknown numbers anyway), it's just about impossible.

I will repeat something I've seen thoughtful people I respect saying: It's obviously a tense time, and if you want Harris to win, get involved to take your mind off the stress. We should not be complacent. But the vibe feels all right? Trump has been missing a lot of steps and acting increasingly erratic. Harris spanked him at their debate and has been campaigning 24/7. I think a lot of faithful Democrats are a bit concerned she's lost the plot, but she is making what look like good choices to me, focusing on leveraging gettable votes away from Trump instead of expending too much time and energy on those of us who've known we were voting for her since before she was even the nominee. That's not stupid. Nikki Haley got about 20 percent of the vote in the GOP primaries, and it was coming from Republicans who are sick of Trump. If Harris is making inroads with those voters, those numbers would be significant.

If you know anyone who might qualify for Public Service Loan Forgiveness for their student loans, and they've never applied, you should tell them to take a look. I saw more than one person on my feed the other day talking about getting thousands of dollars forgiven.

And Joe Biden wants to make over-the-counter birth control free (if you have health insurance).

The Fun Part

Let’s get real. Trump is a skillful politician who knows how to manipulate the media environment through shock and awe.

Of course, what a president says matters. But what Trump is telling us is largely symbolic. You would think that nearly a decade into the former president’s political career, journalists would have learned that lesson.

From an op-ed today in the Onion.

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